Finding Fuel through the Pain

I'm no stranger to pain. Not by a longshot. I have experienced some very trying things in my short life. Without getting too specific for sake of not wanting to sound overly dramatic, let's just say that this world can bring the pain.

One example, I recall getting a phone call from the hospital. A close friend asked the nurses to contact me. She wanted me to come and see her. My schedule was beyond insane at the time since I made firm commitments and I had to keep them. But of course, more importantly I knew I needed to be there for her. I also knew from the nurses that it would have to be as soon as possible. The way things were at the time, I really only had two choices. I could go to the hospital then and only spend a few minutes with her or I could wait until the following day. I decided to wait.

At that moment it seemed like a very poor choice but deep down inside I knew I needed to wait.

I raced to the hospital the next day. I rushed into her room. I still remember her smile like it was yesterday. It was not long before this day that we were at her house enjoying a barbecue and laughing together. I sat down on the bed next to her and she began to get animated as she always did when she was intense in conversation. She was always funny and loved to make me laugh. We shared the same crazy sense of humor :)

She began telling me how she had been in a dispute with her husband the night before and she told him to leave the room and go home. We discussed it and I tried to bring her peace with what she was feeling about him. I shared with her how much he loved her and adored her and it was only the pain of seeing her suffer that caused his nervousness and their disagreement. We talked for a little while longer. We laughed too. As I held her hand she began to struggle with her breathing. I reached over and whispered in her ear and I told her that I loved her. Then, she passed away in my arms.

As the doctors and nurses rushed in, one nurse turned to me and said, "you made it here at just the right time." She was right. I did. There are NO accidents in this world.

As I drove home in tears, I remember thinking about her husband. They had just bought a new home together. Newly married. She was only in her early 20s. What would his life be like now? How would he go on? Would he be okay?

This is reality. This is life. Not one of us can separate our everyday hopes and dreams from the painful and sometimes horrifying moments that are thrown at us. While this might seem like a very exteme example, we all have pain from the past and present that seeks to rob us of our goals TODAY and TOMORROW.

That's why most emotional eating is often rooted in pain so deep and complex that all of the appetite killers in the world could NEVER stop that person from binging on comfort food if they feel they need it.

But there is hope for every single one of us. Just as pain has wired you up in certain ways, you can use your tears to take you to the top. I believe anyone can recondition themselves to become whatever it is that they desire. Some principles must be applied, however.

1. Look at Your Past Constructively and with Purpose

Some people will look at their past pains and sorrows and cry out "why me!", while others will look at the same types of pain and say, "Never ME again!". The outlook you draw from your past will shape your current attitude. And, quite simply, as has been said before, your ATTITUDE will DETERMINE your ALTITUDE.

We must learn from our past sorrows and mistakes. This involves not only understanding WHY you may have done something, but HOW you handled it. We all think we KNOW ourselves so well that we don't need to look back at all. These are the same types of people who step in the same mess over and over again. Be honest with your self-evaluation and your past. But then, take those lessons and MOVE ON. LET IT GO! You can't live in tomorrow with one foot in yesterday. GO and GET those dreams. Turn those tears into fuel. Feed on them until they have no more power over you.

2. Accept Past Failure as Part of Becoming Great

Just ask most who have accomplished greatness if they had to overcome incredible hardships in order to get there. The answer is almost always the same, YES!

In your pursuit to become your very best and reach your own personal level of greatness you can expect to experience sorrow, pain, isolation, fear, loss in all its forms and ongoing doubt. These feelings will come and go and you can and will make it through all of them so long as you realize and keep telling yourself that they are momentary.

3. Claim Your Future Now and Condition Your Mind to Live it Today

It's imperative to own the words that come out of your mouth. If you're always speaking negatively about yourself, then I can almost guarantee that you may NEVER see what you want. But, if you learn to turn your self-talk into positive FUEL that puts fire to your goals and dreams, there's nothing that will be outside of your reach. Here's the problem, most people never spend a tenth of the time necessary to truly condition their minds in a way that will actively and permanently change behavior. It must be aggressive, continual and address very important aspects of your mind and emotions that you KNOW need to be changed for the better.

Here's a little heads up. If you're someone who finds yourself saying "easier said than done" a lot, then you might need to stop procrastinating about the necessary change and JUST DO IT!

After my friend died, I was asked to speak at her funeral service. I was not at a loss for words since she gave me a lot of fond memories. In her short life, SHE LIVED to the FULLEST! Please, do the same and never settle for less than your best!